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Funny words of wisdom for a new job driver#

‘I’m not the smartest fellow in the world, but I can sure pick smart colleagues.’ – Franklin D.

‘Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.’ – Savielly Tartakower.

With failure comes failure.’ – Joseph Heller Along with success come drugs, divorce, fornication, bullying, travel, meditation, medication, depression, neurosis and suicide.

‘Success and failure are both difficult to endure.

‘You never become a howling success by just howling.’ – Bob Harrington.

‘Every man has a right to be conceited until he is successful.’ – Benjamin Disraeli.

And if this were my career, I’d have to throw myself in front of a train.’ – The Office If I advance any higher, this would be my career.

‘Beware of any enterprise requiring new clothes.’ – Henry Thoreau.

‘All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind.’ – Aristotle.

‘The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.If you ain’t the lead dog, the scenery never changes. ‘Aim low, reach your goals, and avoid disappointment.’ – Dilbert.‘If at first you don’t succeed, try management.’ – Unknown.‘If at first you don’t succeed, failure may be your style.’ – Quentin Crisp.‘Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.’ – Unkmown.‘Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.’ – George Burns.‘If you would like to know the value of money, try to borrow some.’ – Benjamin Franklin.It is what we can make of the mess we have made of things.’ – TS Eliot

You just go in every day and do it half-assed.

‘Lisa, if you don’t like your job you don’t strike.

‘Accomplishing the impossible means only the boss will add it to your regular duties.’ – Doug Larson.

‘By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.’ – Robert Frost.

There’s an enormous number of managers who have retired on the job.’ – Peter Drucker.

There’s no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.’ – David Letterman.

Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?’ – Kin Hubbard

‘Nothing is illegal if a hundred businessmen decide to do it.’ – Andrew Young.

‘The higher a monkey climbs, the more you see of its behind.’ – Joseph Stilwell.

‘Failure is not an option-it comes bundled with the software.’ – Unknown.

‘Why join the navy if you can be a pirate?’ – Steve Jobs.

Man invented the alarm clock.’ – Pablo Picass0 Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.’ – Homer Simpson

‘Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it.

Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?’ – J.

‘Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train.

What’s the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse.’ – Denise Miller ‘The easiest job in the world has to be coroner.‘The brain is a wonderful organ it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.’ – Robert Frost.‘What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.’- Phyllis Diller.‘Sometimes the best part of my job is that the chair swivels’ – Unknown.It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar. – Drew Carey ‘Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that.‘Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance? – Edgar Bergen.Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I’m around. – Homer Simpson I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills.Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. ‘Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.’ – Napoleon Bonaparte.

Funny words of wisdom for a new job driver#

In fact, employee funny inspirational quotes is a clear driver for improving productivity and work performance.Īs a manager, it’s your responsibility to create a vibrant workplace atmosphere where employees share their happy, sad and humorous moments.Īs you read through these encouraging quotes for staff, you will realise that these funny inspirational work quotes often reflect a brutally honest reality. So read on these funny work quotes, squeeze the stress-ball and have a chuckle! They enjoy the casual banter with their peers. They are engaged. When people are happy, they look forward to work. That humorous exchange of jokes, memes and posts has a motivational & inspirational effect that makes people happy. Workplace humour has a way of connecting people, building rapport, alleviating tension and building a funny work quotes on corporate culture.